SMALL STEPS (MORE RESOLUTIONS)
This week I again want to talk about two of my 2001 resolutions. This time it's " 3. I resolve to seek the unhappy in my circle of friends and colleagues and try to help them feel better. Even if I can only do small things, I will find some way to improve their lives." and "4. I resolve to be nicer to myself. I want to take better care of myself, both physically and psychically. I can't help others if I don't stay strong myself."
Once again, one of my resolutions, no. 3, has proven to be pretty easy to keep. As I've aged, my most important goal has been to improve the lives of people around me. I'm always looking for something I can do improve the lives of others. The difficulty is finding unhappy people- my friends and colleagues are pretty happy and when they're unhappy it's usually only momentary. I did identify one unhappy person and was able to be kind to her in a meaningful way. I don't know whether this kindness will be enough to solve all of her problems but I feel comfortable that it could only help. (I tried to help another unhappy person but my efforts were rejected in that instance.) I was able to help with minor improvements for others who I count as generally happy. This is not the success I was hoping for but I intend to continue my efforts.
No. 4, which is a common resolution of the last several years, has once again proven more difficult. Being nice to myself is extremely difficult for me, for reasons I don't fully understand. However, I have started minor physical exercise on a daily basis and, while I don't yet detect any great advances in my physical condition, I expect progress in the long term. Psychically, I've made greater strides: I have returned to two of my hobbies I neglected for several years and I'm finding pleasure in them. I feel even more strongly than before that hobbies are of key importance in life. They take you away from the daily grind and make you forget troubles, at least for a little while. Even though it presently takes a conscious effort for me to pursue these hobbies, they are worth the effort.
I guess I'm writing this column for two reasons: One, I need to reassure myself that I'm making progress; and two, I want to urge all of you to think of small steps. We often fail to make giant strides toward our goals and that often discourages us. But if we can keep going, stumbling as we may, moving however slowly toward a goal, we can be proud, we can hold our heads up and no one can count us out. We'd like to leap on our way but sometimes we can only make small steps. Small steps will eventually get us there- don't stop trying because you can't move as quickly or easily as you would like. Small steps- they're not exciting but they do represent progress.
6-18-01