ANGER (2)
My local newspaper reports on the problem of anger and offers suggestions on how to control it. The suggestions are all good ones: Think about the ill effects on you. Think about the power you're giving to the one who angers you. Distract yourself. Loosen up. But the one I want to highlight is acceptance that anger is a problem. The first step in solving a problem is recognition of the problem, the desire to find a solution.
I've talked before about the danger of anger, the bad things anger does to us and others. Anger is a physical and mental danger. But some repeat this conduct again and again, regularly "work themselves up", assume that anger is an appropriate solution to annoyance, react disproportionately to small things, while refusing to recognize that their behavior is harmful. These people will never eliminate their anger, will never take control of their negative emotions. Those who accept that anger is a problem will eventually be able to avoid it.
Recognition that the bad conduct of others doesn't justify our own bad conduct is a good general rule but it's particularly important when dealing with anger. Someone's misbehavior doesn't entitle us to misbehave, doesn't support an angry, hostile response. Self-examination will tell us we do things which make others angry. We don't want to be greeted with hostility because of our own mistakes. So why are we willing to let anger be our response to the mistakes of others.
If you let anger take control, you will become increasingly angry increasingly often and you will promote anger in others. If you take control of yourself, if you try to solve the problem, you'll like yourself better, you'll find yourself happier and those around you will begin to solve their own problem of anger as well. Accept that this bad conduct is a problem and others will see their own problem. Avoid anger and you'll have fewer occasions for anger. If all else fails, avoid the situations that make you angry and anger will no longer be a problem.
11-13-00
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