Distress
A favorite columnist wrote a list of principles to follow to ensure failure, "maxims to quit by", as he calls them. The list is, of course, ironic. He is urging us to act in the opposite way to ensure success. One of his principles that caught my eye recently is "distress should weaken you not strengthen you". He means that we should understand that distress should strengthen us if we want to succeed. He is reminding us that troubles can and must strengthen us, if are to move forward.
A great philosopher is quoted as saying that "adversity has the effect of eliciting talents, which, in prosperous circumstances, would have lain dormant". He meant that in good times we all have a tendency to relax, to bask in our prosperity. It's only in tough times that we bring forth our best, that we can rise to the occasion, that we need to use our skills to overcome problems and move forward.
We all sometimes feel distress. In the face of distress, we all have the opportunity either to be victims, hapless and oppressed, or to be fighters, seeking to overcome the distress, analyzing the causes and attempting to avoid them in the future. We can choose to be idle, waiting to be pushed and shoved by fate, passive in the face of trouble. Alternatively, we can choose to be active, refusing to accept our current circumstances, working to improve things. It's obvious which choice we should make if we want to succeed, to live contentedly.
If we choose to move forward, to refuse to accept distress, to be active in the face of trouble, to take responsibility for ourselves, to overcome the causes of our distress, we will be stronger. We will be stronger in at least two ways: First, our minds will be strengthened, become tougher, by thinking our way through the distress. Second, our moral fiber, our character if you will, will be strengthened by resisting the urge to give up, to accept our distress. If we accept distress as natural it will become natural, if we accept passivity as an appropriate response to trouble we will soon be unable to respond.
By the way, the independence we seek, the strength we feel in achieving freedom from distress and trouble, doesn't require us to "go it alone", to decline assistance. Part of the activity necessary to improve our lives may be seeking appropriate help, whether medical, spiritual or psychological. It may even require seeking financial assistance. As long as we understand that the help is to get us through a temporary period of distress, that the help is to be repaid appropriately when possible, seeking help doesn't weaken us. (And don't forget that the repayment may be in the form of help to another who needs it.)
Don't accept distress. Work through your troubles. Solve your problems and move forward with your life. You'll be stronger, you'll feel better and you'll make others feel better. Once you've solved your problems help others to solve theirs. Soon everyone around you will feel better.
1-2-06
2006 Archives 2005 Archives 2004 Archives 2003 Archives 2002 Archives 2001 Archives