First Responsibility
I was recently surprised to read that Al Geiberger, a wonderfully welcoming professional golfer, known as "Mr. 59" because of a great 18 holes several years ago, had been in various difficulties. According to the article I read, he is now beginning to solve his problems and returning to professional golf. He has gained many insights in solving his problems but one in particular struck me as critical: "[Your] first responsibility is to look out for [yourself]". He noted that there is an analogy to the airplane stewardess' advice to put on your oxygen mask before trying to help others because "you can't help others if you're dead". I was also struck by the fact that he needed the help of his friends and family to gain this insight.
Geiberger apparently spent all his energy in helping others and neglected himself. I believe in helping others but I see the danger of ignoring oneself in helping others. If we neglect ourselves, whether physically, intellectually, emotionally or morally, we weaken ourselves. It's sometimes painful looking back and comparing relative strengths. It's inevitable that we will lose some physical and intellectual strength as we age. But this loss can be slowed by diligent effort. And the time to start this effort is when we are young and at our strongest. Good habits of exercise, in all its forms, when developed young are not painful, can even be fun. The physical exercise necessary to preserve strength can take many forms. We also must not neglect intellectual exercise, such as reading. Similarly, being aware of the need to preserve emotional strength is an important element of remaining strong.
The only strength that need not weaken as we age is moral strength. The sense of justice, of right and wrong, the willingness to encourage others to behave correctly, can all grow stronger as we age. In any society or culture, moral strength can survive and grow all of our lives.
I neglected my physical strength for many years and am having a difficult time doing the things I need to do to enhance it. I'm starting late in life and I'm relatively weaker now. Failure to exercise earlier not only makes it more difficult now, it robs me of the knowledge that could make recovery easier. I've even thought that I will have to hire a personal trainer not only to motivate me, but to tell me the most basic things I need to do. While I'm trying to convince myself otherwise, I doubt that exercise will ever be fun for me.
However, there's one bit of good news. It's never too late to make ourselves better, it's never time to give up, it's worthwhile trying even if we worry about what we may have missed. If it's possible to do better, I intend to try. Even if it doesn't strengthen me, the effort itself will make me feel better about myself, about my life.
When we help ourselves we facilitate helping others by becoming stronger. When we are stronger, when we feel better about ourselves, when we feel better generally, we are in a better position to help others. When we recognize that our first responsibility is to look out for ourselves, we will be stronger and better able to do things for others.
8-23-04
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