Happy New Year
This marks the end of 2005 and the beginning of 2006. It's a time to look back on another year gone by and look forward to another year to come. It's a time when we think of the past but look forward to the future. It's an unusual time, in that we are generally wishing ourselves and others a happy year to come while looking to the past in a way we (or at least I) try generally to avoid. As I've written before, I like to look to the past only for lessons helpful in dealing with the present and the future. But once a year, at this time, I give myself permission to look back without thinking about lessons learned and unlearned; at this time of year, I look back and grade myself on the year's performance. Most importantly, I look back at my resolutions for the year just ending and decide how well I did in honoring the resolutions.
My resolution for 2005 was to continue to try to overcome my shyness, to overcome my fears, to try to help others when I can. I wanted to use what resources I have to make others feel better, live better. I give myself a B for my performance in 2005, judged by this resolution. I did try to help others, I did use significant resources to make others feel better and live better. I didn't do as well in overcoming my shyness and I'm not as sure as I'd like to be that I actually helped others to feel better and live better but I definitely tried.
It's not easy to help other people. People don't always recognize that they need help or what kind of help they need. It's easy to deal with those who ask for specific kinds of help (we might say no but it's still easy to deal with). It's not so easy to deal with those who don't know what will help them. It's also difficult to help those who don't recognize that they need help. I find myself reluctant to offer help to those I deem helpless without a lot of thought about whether the offer will be offensive or, even, unnecessary. I can usually only help those who recognize their own needs and even then only when my resources are sufficient to help. None of us have unlimited resources and we can't help everybody. Sometimes we have to ration our resources and apply them where they can do the most good. And we have to remember that our first duty is to ourselves, since if we are weakened and deprived of resources we can't help anybody else.
All in all, though, I commend myself for my efforts. I comfort myself with the fact that it sometimes takes years to find out whether we actually helped someone or not. I don't plan to give up and I will continue to try my best to help others. Even if I can't help everyone I can help someone. And I resolve that during 2006 I won't lose sight of my goals.
HAPPY NEW YEAR FROM YOUR INTERNET GRANDFATHER!
12-26-05
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