HIDE YOUR DEPTHS
[In looking for Worldly Wisdom by Gracian I came across his A Pocket Mirror for Heroes. From time to time I will discuss thoughts from this book as well as the former work.]
Gracian notes that "people are venerated until others discover the limits of their talents"; he advises concealment of our talents as a way to gain power over others. For those of us who don't seek power, there's still something worth thinking about in Gracian's advice. Put another way, we don't need to display our talents, to pridefully show off our skills, to boast of our abilities in order to accomplish our goals. People who are good at something don't need to show off to gain respect, they need only to do.
We all know people who feel obliged, in one way or another, to tell us how good, how smart, how skilled they are, who feel it important to display their talents, to compare their ability to ours. Often, this is a way of establishing supremacy, of making us feel inadequate, unworthy, unable to compete. However, it usually has the opposite effect: Hearing these boasts usually spurs us to greater effort, to perform above the norm, to compete more effectively. Also, in the end, we think less of boastful showoffs; we have less respect for whatever abilities they have. Moreover, boastful comments create high expectations and lead to scorn if the boaster doesn't measure up.
When I watch great athletes, great musicians, great artists perform and then see them interviewed about their performances, I am often surprised at how modest they are. I remember Fred Astaire saying how reluctant he was to dance with the many women who asked him to dance because he wasn't very good at ballroom dancing. To my eyes, he was the greatest dancer I could imagine and some of his ballroom scenes in movies have become classics. I think he meant that these great scenes were the product of a lot of work, many hours of rehearsal, that he wasn't good at impromptu performances. But I also think he was genuinely modest: It made me appreciate him all the more. On a similar note, I listened to Tiger Woods' coach explain how hard Woods works to improve, notwithstanding that he is arguably the greatest golfer of his time or of all time.
Astaire, Woods, other great performers don't need to tell us how good they are. We can see for ourselves. Similarly, we don't need to tell anyone about our talents. If we perform, others will see and appreciate our skills. Moreover, because we weren't boastful their expectations will be lower. Finally, because we didn't try to make others feel inadequate, they will be all the more impressed with our skills, will learn by watching us, will enjoy the performance and we will only have to worry about our own expectations, our own standards. If we are modest about our abilities, we will be appreciated.
Gracian was dealing with a different setting, a different time but he was right: Conceal your talents, let your performance speak for itself and you will help yourself and others to do the best you and others can do. In this way, once again, doing the right thing pays off for everybody.
9-11-00
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