INSTANT GRATIFICATION
[A reader suggested this topic, which delighted me. While I get great pleasure from writing my weekly columns, I want to write something useful to my readers and suggestions for topics encourage me to continue.]
Gratification is the satisfaction of desires, the reward for a job well-done, the fulfilling of one's wishes. We all want gratification. But when I was a young man, my friends and colleagues shared a tacit expectation that gratification took many years of hard work: If you worked hard and did a good job for many years, you would achieve a reward. No one expected that any reward would come easily or quickly. Moreover, the size of our expectations was small: We expected a modest pension of some sort or, if we were lucky, maintaining our current (albeit modest) lifestyle through retirement. There were always a few people who achieved wealth and a few people who succeeded early in life, but it was not the norm. It didn't change our own expectations; we congratulated the fortunate few and continued to work for the long-term rewards.
In maintaining our long-term orientation, we deferred many of the gratifications we could have had. In our goal to meet our long-term goals, we put aside expensive vacations, expensive cars, the lifestyles we could have maintained if we didn't think of saving for the future, of thinking of the end of our careers. We sometimes disparaged (and were in return disparaged by) those who lived for the moment, thought little of old age, assumed that things would work out whatever they did.
Now things have changed. Fewer people look to a life-time of toil as the price of gratification. Many people look for early rewards, for instant gratification of their desires. I can see many reasons for this. One reason is the remarkable and visible success of so many young people. Seeing one's peers achieve early success can lead to a desire to emulate them. Another reason is the lack of predictability in a world of change. The accelerating pace of change makes it hard to make long-term plans. Therefore, it's difficult to patiently wait for rewards. It's also true that certain elements of our society cause us to seek instant gratification: The readiness of employers to lay off workers, even good workers, makes it easier to expect greater rewards earlier because we can't count on deferred reward. The constant din of advertising telling us to buy, to play, to live the good life now contributes to impatience. Even the internet, which makes it easier and faster to communicate, and therefore makes it easier to see others' successes, plays a role.
I sympathize with the desire for early reward. I often wish I had been better rewarded at an early age. But I also think about what I would have missed in that case. The feeling of satisfaction with a job well-done would certainly be more difficult to attain if all the rewards came early. There's also the question of what would you do for the rest of your life? If all the hopes that keep you going are met early, would you cease working, become bored with your life, have nothing to look forward to? Moreover, most people who expect instant gratification will be disappointed. So, at least for those people, the search for instant gratification will be dysfunctional. Maybe that's the answer: Don't expect instant gratification, plan for the long-term and be pleasantly surprised and grateful if things are better than you expect. In that way, you'll be happier in the process, you'll avoid negative feelings along the way.
2-26-01
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