KINDNESS
I often think how much better off we would all be if everyone practiced kindness. When I was young, I never thought about kindness and I rarely practiced it. I also rarely received it. I thought the world was a harsh place. As I aged, I occasionally practiced kindness and the world got a little better. Now, I try to be kind in everything I do: to other drivers, to shop clerks, to waiters, to co-workers, to friends, to acquaintances, to strangers, to people I pass on the street, to people I run into in hotel lobbies, to the homeless, to old people, to children. Now the world seems a pretty good place. Are people always kind to me? No, but more and more are. And, in any event, it's almost irrelevant whether other people are kind to me: Kindness is at least one thing which doesn't require an exchange: Giving kindness is enough.
What is kindness? While the dictionary uses a lot of words, I define kindness as simple consideration of others. Kindness is thinking about another person. When a driver wants to enter my lane, I don't think "here's a chance to make someone else miserable by closing with the car ahead of me". I think "here's a chance to be nice to someone, I'll make way for him". I'm often rewarded with a friendly wave or a smile. What could be nicer than a smile from a stranger? Moreover, I feel better about myself. And what did it cost me? 10 seconds delay?
When a stranger asks for directions on the street, how often do we impatiently walk by without answering? How often do we avert our eyes from the homeless? How often do we silently curse the older person who slows us down? How often do we shun the unattractive or the boring at a party? How often do we ignore the pain of others when we could easily alleviate it? How often do we let competitiveness drive our actions at work or at school?
Maybe the problem is short-term thinking. We do things which are immediately gratifying or avoid effort in the short-term. The 10 seconds we save on the freeway isn't directly related to the stress we add (or sometimes the accidents we end up in). The few minutes of excitement we gain at the party isn't directly related to the pain in the eyes of the person we've shunned (or the lost opportunity to discover the interesting person under the shy exterior.) The impatience with the old enables us to ignore our own weaknesses for a little while.
Kindness is free to give, it costs you nothing. It can only make you feel better about yourself. It may result in a small reward: a smile or a wave or grateful eyes. It might change the world.[8-9-99]
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