MUSIC
I was listening to Charlotte Church sing Danny Boy on television and it almost brought me to tears. Not because her voice is so beautiful, although for someone her age it is amazing. And not because the song is so profound, although it does say some interesting things and has an interesting history. It was that it reminded me of Irish ancestors long dead, of times past, of emotions long unfelt, of beauty not often seen or heard lately, particularly on television.
Music is an important part of my life: I've always enjoyed classical music and I've particularly enjoyed opera. Opera combines several genres in the same work: Orchestra, Singing, Dance, Drama, even Painting. Opera uses all the senses except touch. Opera especially provides an emotional experience, an opportunity to feel the emotions of the characters even when I otherwise have no occasion to feel.
I always disliked the popular music of my time, because I found it shallow and ugly. However, for the first time, I think I understand the appeal of popular music and I no longer dislike it. I think it does the same thing for others as opera does for me and it does something more: Popular music invokes physical action. I now understand that it was the physical I resisted and the call to physical activity that I found ugly. Leading a sedentary life, I didn't want to be reminded of the physical.
This new understanding does something more for me also. It reminds me that judgments of taste can lead to intolerance. I was intolerant of other peoples' taste in music. That made me withdraw from them and left me on the sidelines on many occasions where I could have enjoyed myself by participating. I think we all have occasions where our intolerance for someone's preference in clothes, books, music, religion, associations and other things offends us, leads us to shun others for no good reason. In most cases, others' taste doesn't hurt us in the least. Are we afraid they will try to impose their tastes on us? Or are we resistant to differences, to the mere suggestion to experience something different?
As long as others don't impose their tastes on us we can peacefully coexist without giving up anything. If we don't like a painting or a television show, we don't have to watch. If we don't like certain music, we don't have to listen. But if we let intolerance lead us to shun others, or even worse, to affirmatively try to impose our tastes on others, we lose: We lose the opportunity to enjoy other people on their own terms, we lose the opportunity to learn new things and to acquire new tastes for ourselves, and we can harm others. My first rule of leading a good life is to avoid hurting others. Intolerance denigrates others, makes them feel unworthy. I'm sorry I didn't realize until late in life that my intolerance of other peoples' tastes was hurting them and hurting me. Now that I understand, I'm going to actively seek to listen to new music, to read new genres of literature, to eat new food dishes and to meet new people. And I'm going to try to expose other people to my tastes on a trial basis. I'm going to let them know that I won't be offended by their tastes and I don't insist that they admire the things I admire. I'm only trying to exchange, to accept, to avoid negative feelings.
Tolerance is not just for others, it's for you too.
(9-13-99)
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