NECESSITIES + Shoulder Update
[I discovered that my two most recent columns may not have loaded correctly because of changes at my ISP. If you missed Running Water or Jealousy, please follow the links from here. I'm sorry if anyone was disappointed.]
I think a lot about wants and needs and how easy it is for us to view our desires as necessities. Someone once said that it only takes one ride in a limousine to make it a necessity. So it is with many things we enjoy: Once we've had it, we convince ourselves we must have it. Treats become needs, luxuries become ordinary parts of our lives, pampering becomes expected. There's nothing wrong with desires, with luxuries, with treats. The trap comes when we think we must have these things. This is one of the ways we unnecessarily complicate our lives. We make ourselves uncomfortable by seeking unnecessary comforts, we become envious of those who have things we want, we continuously move our goals so we can never be content.
When we fall victim to this problem, we often do it with ostensibly good motives. We tell ourselves that a particular luxury is good value, that getting a more expensive product is actually cheap because it will last longer. We convince ourselves that our desires are not for luxuries but for self-improvement, as with health farms and spas. We look to our neighbors and think that it's important that we uphold the standards of the community by having what others have. We run faster and faster to keep up with others who also seek luxuries. We eventually think we're entitled to things. We become dissatisfied with what we have, ungrateful for the gifts already given to us.
Worst of all, when we start thinking in this way, we often become completely materialistic. People rarely say I must read a book of poems, I must help my neighbor, I need to be the best friend I can be. It always seems to be about some thing I need. In this way we not only create an escalating series of material desires, we make ourselves the poorer by ignoring the truly important aspects of life.
Fortunately, the solution is simple. Recognize desires for what they are and don't turn them into needs. Try to look to the important things in life, family and friends, helping others, practicing the simple virtues of kindness and consideration. Most importantly, seek contentment. Be grateful for everything we have, be satisfied. Enjoy luxuries but recognize them as such.
[My shoulder continues to improve. My physical therapy now includes more active exercises and I'm lifting a small weight with the affected arm. The doctor told me my improvement and lack of pain is exceptional. I'm feeling optimistic. My friends and colleagues continue to be supportive. I still haven't driven but I think I'll feel ready the week after next. I'll continue to keep you posted.]
3-11-02
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