INTERNET GRANDFATHER®

NEW YEAR'S EVE

                            This column is written for New Year's Eve, when we all look forward to better things in the new year and celebrate the end of the old, when we all feel the hope of better things to come, when we hope our mistakes of the past won't be repeated, when we hope our sins will be forgiven. Even though I've had many disappointments over the years, I still hope that 2002 will be the best year yet. And I know that if I approach things with the right spirit, if I do the right things, if I try my best, 2002 will be the best year yet, even if my hopes are dashed, even if things don't go the way I want them to, even if my efforts fail. And I know this because the key is the effort: So long as I'm doing my best, things will be good.

                                                Given my continued hope for the future, I was a little put off by something I read in the Sunday supplement recently. A group of young people was asked what kind of adult do you want to be. Most expressed the desire for family and trusted friends, some hoped for riches and success, one even hoped for wisdom,  but one young man said that he expected to be "the average American . . . [who] tries his best but still gets only negative outcomes. . . . "  It makes me sad that a young person, of all people, would be so discouraged, so hurt by life, that his expectations would be so low. To believe that one's future holds only negative outcomes is dangerous because it is a self-fulfilling prophecy. To lose one's hope, one's faith in the future, is to assure that life will be unpleasant, unsatisfying, wasted. If we don't have hope, we have nothing. If we can't feel good about our efforts, trying for trying's sake, we're doomed to bitterness, to resentment, to a life of unhappiness and feelings of failure.

                                                  In my younger days, I sometimes fell prey to these feelings. I lost hope and began to believe that nothing I could do would lead to feelings of well-being. I was unhappy during this period, which lasted until I realized that process transcends results, that enjoyment of effort was the key to happiness for me. It took me a long time but I finally realized that if I couldn't enjoy trying, the daily effort to achieve a result, no accomplishment would be enough, no result would be pleasing, no result would be worthwhile. And I also realized that no matter how bad things seemed, hope would carry me through. As long as I had hope, I could keep going and look for the beauty that was all around me, look for the pleasure of helping others, take pride in my efforts and forget about the desired results. We have to have a target but when he hit one target we have to find another target: Only the effort is important, not the target.

                                                   Especially at this time of year, let's enjoy the parties and festivities of the end of the year and look forward with hope for the future. If we can keep a positive attitude, good things will follow. And even if good things don't come, we'll feel better in the certain knowledge that it's the process that counts.

            HAPPY NEW YEAR FROM YOUR INTERNET GRANDFATHER.

12-31-01

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