OLD(2) + Shoulder Update
Aging is a strange thing. Sometimes, as when I look in the mirror or exert myself physically, I feel old. Other times, as when I'm talking to a young person or simply sitting and thinking, I feel young. I know what my age is and what the limitations of that age are, yet sometimes I feel as if I will live forever, that I'm ageless, that I'm the same person I was forty years ago.
I suppose the most common times I feel old are when I see how people view age. Like a lot of things, age is mostly defined in relation to our own ages. I find most people young nowadays, I rarely see someone I regard as old. I was talking to an on-line friend about her companions and she referred to someone 32 years old in a way that clearly indicated she thought 32 was old. Even though I remember thinking someone 22 was old (when I was 12), it still takes me aback to think that a 32-year old could be thought of as old. But, I confess, I now think of people in their 20s as young, as "kids".
Some people say you're as old as you feel. In one of my favorite cartoons, a man says "Quit saying you're as old as you feel because I feel like I'm 103". Others say you're as old as you look. A comic used to say it's better to look good than feel good. And it's clear that posture, physical fitness, hair color and other indicia of age can make us feel older or younger and make other people think differently about our age.
I remember that someone once proposed that we should be born old and get younger every year. In that way, everyone would have something to look forward to every year and when we "got young" we would really appreciate youth. It would be nice to get stronger every year, to use the benefits of experience with full powers. But fantasy aside, I feel more and more comfortable with my age. I can't complain.
A recent Sunday supplement poll asks a group of teenagers whether they fear being old. As I always do when I read such polls, I enjoyed the diversity of responses. One young man said he wants to be young forever, another says old people are [more] dignified. A young woman says her biggest fear of getting old is being scared. But another young woman came up with the right answer from my perspective: She doesn't fear getting old but she wouldn't want to be old right now because she has so many things she wants to do. She recognizes that youth means more time to accomplish your goals. When you're "old", it means you're running out of time.
All in all, I guess we're all the right age. We can't move forward or back in time, we're stuck with whatever age we are. And why resent or complain about that. Although I sometimes wish I could be young, knowing what I know now, I usually am glad to be my age. I've learned a lot, I'm in reasonably good health, I'm prosperous relative to some I see and I won't have any more of the unpleasant experiences of youth. And because of my age people are more willing to accept my help. They know I have no hidden motives, I don't want anything from them, I just want to help. That's the best reward of growing older. But don't avoid trying to help others just because you're young. If you succeed, you'll have all the rewards I get from helping and you'll have more time to enjoy them.
4-29-02
[I'm feeling really good this week about my shoulder. I was able to take half-swings at a whiffle ball at therapy and hit the ball pretty straight. I'm able to hold my arm up reasonably straight, which has been a problem before this week. I feel that I'm gaining strength, little by little. I continue to do the exercises given me and try to avoid favoring the affected side in my daily tasks. My friends and colleagues have almost forgotten about my surgery, which is where I want them to be. I'll keep you posted.]
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