OLD FRIENDS
We all love our old friends, even if "old" in this context means a year or so. It's especially true when the old friends move away. I had the opportunity to visit such an old friend last week. The friend is a restaurant worker I met in California who moved to Chicago to manage a restaurant there. She's a German national who will probably eventually return to Europe but for now I cherish the opportunity to see her at work once in a while. When I saw her, I was reminded of how much I like people who work hard at their job, who take pride in what they do.
To me, she embodies everything one would want in a manager, especially of restaurants. She knows every aspect of her business, is kind and helpful, and seemed popular with her co-workers. She's also tough enough to deal with the inevitable problems which beset a manager from all sides: Employees asleep on the job, landlords complaining about this and that, customers who are never satisfied no matter what. But it's her service mentality that sets her apart from most of her peers: She understands good service, she deeply cares about good service, she does everything possible to deliver good service.
I've long complained that too few of us appreciate good service. We don't demand it, so we don't get it, or we don't want to pay for it, so we don't get it, or we don't know it when we see it, so we don't appreciate it. My friend never complains but it must be hard to work as hard as she does when she meets people who don't appreciate her work. I'm making an educated guess when I say this but I'm guessing it doesn't discourage her, doesn't slow her down, but instead encourages her to redouble her efforts, to attempt to win over the worst of customers.
I had another good friend in the restaurant business, now dead, who only once in the thirty-odd years I knew him lost his temper with a customer. This customer complained about everything, from the decor to the service to the food. He tried to tell my friend how to cook dishes my friend learned as a boy and perfected over a forty-year career. I excused my friend the one lapse when he told the customer that if every customer was like him he'd close the restaurant.
I'm in a service business myself so I can empathize with service providers who are met with disinterest or complaints. But I've learned that, in my business, the best thing to do is avoid the customers who don't appreciate service. It's hard to tell that to someone young and idealistic but in the long run that's the best way to avoid the treadmill of trying to please those who won't be pleased. I think this idea works for all industries, all roles. In fact, I think it applies to everything we do in life. We all fear we won't get replacement customers (or playmates or other people we need) when we weed out the unappreciative but somehow we do.
I was going to use my friend's name as the title for this column but I decided that would be inappropriate. So, friend, you know who you are. My hat's off to you. May your life be nothing but applause and enjoyment as you move from success to success. But if you have tough times, as most of us do, remember my rule: Avoid the unappreciative as best you can, saving your energy for those who appreciate your work. Also remember that your friends are here to help you in any way we can.
6-3-02
[My shoulder continues to improve. I still know I'm recovering from surgery, I can't yet ignore the instinct to favor it once in a while, but I get stronger and stronger. I can say that the surgery was worthwhile. I also can say that, while exercise has not been part of my life's routine, I enjoy therapy, I see the benefits of it and I wish I had learned to exercise regularly at an early age. It sounds silly to say but this surgery may be the best thing that ever happened to me. I'll keep you posted.]
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