PATIENCE
I read journals, newspapers, magazines, I talk to people, I listen to the radio and I watch television. Everywhere I look I find impatience. Impatience to grow up, impatience to find a girl or boyfriend, impatience to marry, impatience to get a job, a better job, a promotion, impatience to get money, a house, a vacation. Everything must happen immediately, if not sooner.
Impatience is not the same as drive. Drive to achieve goals is understandable, even laudable. Impatience takes away the joy of achievement, the anticipation of success, the pleasure of reaching a goal. Impatience adds stress, leads to anger, and may actually defeat our efforts. Moreover, impatience even causes us to lose sight of the goal. In our impatience to achieve a result, we forget why we wanted a result or even what result we were working toward. An important lesson in life is that process is as important as, if not more important than, the result. If we enjoy what we're doing currently, that is a sufficient reward. If we also achieve a desired goal, that is a bonus.
We all know this intuitively. How many times have we said "I wouldn't do that for all the money in the world" or "They can't pay me enough to stay in this job another day" or "The game is not worth the candle". So, if we know this, why do we impatiently pursue a goal without regard to the pleasure of the pursuit, to the effect on our daily lives?
I recently had a lesson in patience when, after many years of seeking a particular goal, I realized that I already had most of what I wanted in the pleasure of pursuit of the goal. I still want to achieve my original goal but patience has allowed me to enjoy the pursuit. I no longer resent the present situation. I can look forward to a future of the process whether I ever achieve my original goal or not. Pleasure in pursuing a goal, or maybe pleasure in daily living, is a goal unto itself. Also, learning to be patient makes me more efficient in seeking my goal: The anger of impatience no longer slows me down.
Many years ago I read a book about effort which made the point that you can't fail unless you give up. Impatience leads to giving up. If we focus entirely on speed of result, failure to get the result within the scheduled time is viewed as failure. If we focus instead on the pleasure of the trying, it doesn't matter when or whether we get the result. To wait patiently for a result enables us to enjoy the days ahead, calms us, makes us better people. Interestingly, young people, who have the most time ahead are the most impatient. You can trust me when I tell you patience will improve your lives and even make achievement of the goal more satisfying.
Be patient: You'll get there just as fast and have more fun along the way.[8-16-99]
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