Resolution Kept
In the past, I've made New Year's resolutions that I gradually forgot as the year went on. This year I made only one resolution: "I think that this is my resolution for 2003: Quit thinking about the past as better, look forward to better things yet to come, use the past as a building block that will help us to enjoy things in the present." For once, I believe I've kept my resolution. Through travel, through vacations, through conversations with friends, I've learned to look forward, not back. I've come to believe that this is the best time of my life. I'm getting to do things I've always wanted to do, I've been able to introduce others to the things I most value, I think I'm generally a better person.
I don't mean that I'm young again. I still feel the growing aches and pains and infirmities that come with age. But I now look upon age as a shield, a shield against many things that used to bother me. I no longer get angry, I'm better able to enjoy the moment and the experience that comes with age has opened new vistas. When I was young, I wouldn't have dared to travel for fear of letting someone down. When I was young, if I had traveled, I would have constantly looked at the calendar, at my watch, I would have been in a hurry to return to work. And when I was young, I wouldn't have known where to go, what to do. My experience has not only taught me to enjoy but what I enjoy the most. When others start counting the days until the vacation is over, I live every day as if the vacation won't end. I meet my commitments to others but until the time and date of the commitment I can act as if there are no commitments.
I've also learned a lot from some young people, ranging from 2 years old on up. I've watched how they create their own world of fantasy, of games, of toys no matter where they are. I've enjoyed watching their enjoyment of the simplest things. I've also enjoyed watching their appreciation of those who respect their world, who join in, who contribute to their enjoyment. It's almost as if they don't accept trouble or unhappiness. Or maybe, it's that they instinctively know that we can rise above trouble or unhappiness if we only try. If for even a small amount of time we can ignore whatever's bothering us, by playing a game or interacting with others or just getting away, we can make ourselves happier, we can solve the problems that bother us, we can more comfortably look forward.
There's another thing I've learned as well and this might be the hardest thing for me. It's that a cheerful demeanor adds interior cheer. If we can pretend to feel better, somehow we do. Conversely, if we let bad feelings show, somehow that reinforces a bad mood. Again, watching young people react to attempts to cheer them up has taught me a lot. No matter how upset they are, once they smile or laugh, their mood changes. We can do the same thing. An old song tells us to let a smile be our umbrella. It really works.
Look forward, enjoy whatever you're doing and use the past only to enhance our experience in the present. In that way, we'll feel better and better. And if we feel better and better, we'll make other people feel better as well.
11-3-03
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