Savoring
One of my favorite Sunday supplements, in discussing happiness, notes that happy people savor good moments. That is, happy people experience good moments in all their senses, they relish them, they can almost taste them. By contrast, unhappy people, as well as those who aren't genuinely happy, may not recognize or may not enjoy good moments, even their best moments. The discussion goes on to point out that happy people are also able to recall and use their good moments of the past to deal with current problems.
I think there are several things to think about in this discussion. It's important to enjoy things. Whether we want to use the word savor or relish or simply enjoy, if we can't find pleasurable moments we're doomed to a gray, dismal existence. We need pleasure, at least occasionally, and no matter how bad things are, we can find things to enjoy: A book from the library, a television show, an encounter with a friend or co-worker or waiter or shopkeeper or the weather. If we think about it, there's something to enjoy in even the worst moments. If nothing else, we can learn from the experience and find something better later. I think of the phrase "horrible example" and remember, in hindsight, how helpful bad things can be in teaching us what's good. If we can't find anything to enjoy in our present circumstances, we can look for something new. Even if we don't find it, we can enjoy the search.
It's also interesting to think about degrees of enjoyment. The word "savor" suggests a heightened degree of enjoyment. It implies great enjoyment, something beyond mere pleasure. I envision a person savoring an experience in a luxurious armchair, favorite refreshments at hand, perfect lighting, perhaps an ottoman to elevate the feet, complete relaxation, pure enjoyment. I must confess that I've only truly "savored" good books and good music but I think I understand the word. It seems to me more difficult to find moments to savor than moments to enjoy but maybe when we think about it we can create moments to savor. Maybe the mere act of trying to savor something makes it a good moment, a moment to savor.
But perhaps the most important part of this key to happiness is remembering the good moments and using the memory to help us when we have problems. Our best moments are usually moments when we have had pleasant dealings with other people. Most of our problems arise from not dealing effectively with other people. The connection is obvious: Try your best to deal successfully with other people, draw on successful interactions of the past and deal more successfully with new interactions. Then we'll be happier with every encounter.
10-11-04
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