SEXISM + Shoulder Update
I was having lunch with two young women and the conversation turned to the difficulties of women in the workplace. We all acknowledged and lamented the existence of sex discrimination but we couldn't come up with a solution. We spoke of the possible reasons and agreed that men needed to change their attitudes but how we could make that happen was a mystery. Just before the lunch-time discussion, I read an article in the New York Times discussing powerful women who drop out of their positions. Former Rep. Patricia Schroeder was quoted as saying "people have simply not supported women in the workplace." But I wonder if people support anyone in the workplace in the sense she means. The workplace is sometimes a harsh place, with a lot of subjectivity and a sometimes unhealthy spirit of competition. In the context of ending sex discrimination, it's not useful to lament conditions which apply equally to men and women. So what do we do? There is no easy answer.
Perhaps the most interesting thing to me about our lunch-time conversation was that we all agreed that women also need to change their attitudes. In my experience, women are often the harshest critics, the most demanding customers, the least forgiving, of other women in the workplace. If my experience is valid, the problem is more difficult to solve. One thing that occurred to me is networking among women as a way of bypassing sexist men but if women are also part of the problem that wouldn't work. Another possibility, attempted by many women I know, is to work harder than men, be smarter than men, be more attentive than men. This doesn't seem to work either because these women are still discriminated against by men and scorned by other women as unfair competitors.
I've come to believe that sex discrimination is just a small part of the unkindness of modern life. If we treated everyone as an individual, giving him or her credit for what they do, and made allowances for differences in circumstances of men and women alike, if we tried to encourage and train everyone to do the best job he or she could do, if we weren't so ready to criticize both men and women at the slightest stumble, the problem of sexism would be solved. And a lot of other problems would be solved also. If we were simply nice to others, without regard to sex, everyone would enjoy their work more and do a better job.
While I rarely feel proud of myself, because I feel I have so much more to do, I am proud that I've lived by this principle in the workplace. I've judged people by their performance, not by their sex, and I've sought to get the best from everyone, without assuming everyone is the same in their abilities. I've been complimented for this trait and it has lead to great support from both men and women. For once, I can say that the answer I seek is in my own behavior. Act with kindness to everyone and not only will sexism disappear, we'll all be better workers (and better people).
[Therapy was really good this past week. I made great progress in flexibility and some progress in strength. I'm halfway through the expected four month recovery period and feel that I might be ahead of the game. I was able to dry my back with a towel for the first time. While that seems a small thing, it was like a major advance to me. I also successfully drove home from work and I'm going to try to drive to and from work every day this week. I'll keep you posted.]
4-1-02
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