Small Town
I grew up in a small town in an agricultural area. I started school near a city over 45 years ago and I've been working in a city and living in the suburbs for 38 years but I've never felt completely at home. I still believe in the comforts and virtues of the small town. I've lately found myself wondering what it is about small towns that is so powerful and lasting. Why is a small town so much more comfortable to me? After all, I believe that in some sense you make your own surroundings wherever you go. It's your own core that is important not where you live.
In part, I think it's the comfort that comes from knowing most of the people in town and knowing that most of them know you. Seeing the same people continually and maintaining relationships over long periods of time is easier for me. I know that some people find it uncomfortable but I think it's pleasing to be surrounded by others who know you, in many cases, from birth and who don't require that you prove yourself again and again. When we meet strangers, in a sense we're always selling ourselves. We don't have to do that with people we already know. There's also something about the pace of change that makes small towns more comfortable. I tend to resist change and in a small town we rarely see the break-neck pace of change we see in the city.
There's also something about the encouragement we get from knowing that we have to meet the expectations of those who've known us all of our lives. It's easier to "slip", to fail to meet our standards when we think no-one is watching. I know it's all about ourselves, that our standards don't depend on others or their approval. I know that we must live to our standards no matter what others may think, but I sometimes find myself failing, such as when I have an indolent day, and I think it would be less likely if I was living amidst long-time friends and acquaintances.
Finally, I notice that the people in small towns are different in important respects. They seem to maintain higher standards for themselves but they don't necessarily demand higher standards of others. They seem more accepting of others, more friendly, more forgiving, more willing to give second chances, than city folk. I believe that's because city folk assume, probably rightly, that they need not deal with us again. It's easier to ignore both the good and the bad traits of others if you believe you'll never see them again.
Well now. All of this thinking has made me conclude that I would be better off in a small town. However, I don't need to move. We can and must recreate the small town feeling wherever we go. Think of everyone you meet as a friend and some of them will become friends. Think that you will see people again and again and you may see them again. And even if you don't, you'll make them feel better about themselves. In creating our own small town wherever we go, we'll feel better about ourselves.
11-7-05
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