INTERNET GRANDFATHER®

Teaching Happiness

                                            I often think about contentment, a state of satisfaction, an acceptance of the current state of things, not wanting something more or different. While I argue we should keep trying to make things better for ourselves and others, I think it's easier to do from a situation of contentment. Contentment is the perfect state. It takes away the angst of seeking more, as well as the jealousy or envy that sometimes accompanies the seeking. We know that if we fail we will remain contented and we have no reason to feel the negative emotions of jealousy and envy. I contrast contentment with happiness. My dictionary tells me that happiness means elation, or a state of pleasure. Happiness seems to me to be too hard to achieve, even for a moment. I believe that those who set happiness as their goal are doomed to perpetual seeking, while those who recognize the value of contentment may stumble upon happiness on their way.

                                                         In either case, I believe that the emotional state is something that is achieved as a by-product of activities, not something to be achieved separately from the other pieces of our lives. I was thus surprised recently to find that an English educator advocates teaching happiness in schools. The newspaper article I read didn't explain how it would be taught but commentators have already begun arguing the point. I found myself in firm agreement with those who argued it can't be taught and may not even be desirable in the first place.

                                                         In my reading, I found a good quotation from G. K. Chesterton, the English writer. He said that discontent is the disease to be avoided and no lessons in happiness will cure it. Another writer noted that happiness can never be taught, not even by example, it can only come from time and the knowledge that experience brings. While I believe that the latter commentator may be confusing happiness with contentment, I agree with the thought that we shouldn't be trying to teach it.

                                                         We don't need to live in a perpetual state of pleasure but we do need to find satisfaction or contentment. The continual seeking of pleasure is self-defeating; pleasure is like a narcotic: we need ever-growing doses to feel the pleasure. Unless the pleasure we seek is the pleasure of contentment. it leaves us constantly struggling. Learn to reconcile the need to try to do better with the goal of contentment; your life will be better and you will be better able to help others.

5-21-07